Even without the agreement by both polls and punditry on the Democratic sweep of the general election debate series, last night John McCain sealed the loss of his second bid to become President of the United States.  Though Obama brought his best-of-three debate performance to bear, largely McCain and his campaign were the Arizona’s senators worst enemies, failing to deliver anything compelling to any whose decision is not already made.

The Friendliest Plumber In Town

John McCain’s job was clear: never mind the bollocks, connect with undecideds on the economy.  The experience argument, character attacks and foreign policy chops just weren’t working to turn his trendlines north. The debate was his last chance to connect with indies concerned about another 700+ point drop in the market that closed seven hours earlier.  

Thus was born the short-lived celebrity of “Joe the Plumber.”  Picking out a conservative-leaning gentleman from Ohio who spoke to Barack Obama directly at a rally, McCain conjured an image seemingly perfect to connect with Midwestern swing families in economic shell-shock.  ”He’ll raise your taxes,” the old man warned, relating the tale of a hard working man with a steel hard hat losing his American dream to Obama’s liberal tax policy.  The charade took less than twenty hours to disintegrate.  A day later, this we now know:

1. Joe the Plumber cannot buy his plumbing business.
2. Joe the Plumber is not a plumber.
3. Joe the Plumber is not named Joe.

The alarming tingle of my internal bullshit-o-meter when John McCain referred to “my ol’ buddy Joe the Plumber” turned out to be more prescient than I could have guessed.  The McCain campaign’s vehicle for connecting with the middle class on economic issues is actually named Samuel J. Wurzelbacher.  Now an unfortunate casualty of cutthroat campaigning, Wurzelbacher does not have plumber’s license nor the financial means to buy the business that employs him.

Even if he were all three of the things McCain claimed, the argument is not only false but ridiculously ineffective.  ”I don’t know any plumbers making $250k a year,” was the phrase repeated at watercoolers throughout Ohio and the rest of America, trying to make sense of this latest in a long line of McCain gear shifts.  Neither the business nor occupation of plumbing comes close to the Obama high water mark for tax increase, leaving (non)Joe the (non)Plumber slice of American pie safe.  According to Obama’s plan, the only plumbers in danger of higher taxes are the kind that eat mushrooms and save princesses.

This latest round of Class A shitwizardry at a pivotal juncture further reinforces the growing sentiment in the GOP establishment that McCain campaign fucked into a cocked hat.  Not only did John McCain completely misjudge the demands of the independent electorate with continued negativity, anger and attacks, but the one argument that might have worked fell apart the next day.

The 1-in-6 odds are charitable.  John McCain just lost the election.

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