The problem with the Internet is that I’ve been doing the exact same shit since 1994. The big trend over the weekend on the newly mainstream and go-to font of late night laughs Twitter was #pillowfight.  The hashtag involves calling out one’s followers and those following with 140 characters of fictional fluffy combat.  The new communication medium produced tweets so essential, they were Gospel in real time.

milana: @djR3z @zachflauaus ^PILLOW GRENADE^ ^KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW^ BOAAFFFF!! #pillowfight ^duck^ ow u missed guys ;p

BBal4: @rmilana REANIMATED – HAAAR FNAAAR FNAAAR *boof* *boof *boof *boof* #pillowfight

djR3Z: @rmilana *Spidey-crawls up wall and avoids pillow.* HA!!! *pulls out pillow launching gun* PEW PEW!!! #pillowfight

The memes have changed, but the psalms are still the same.  I have been in an Internet pillow fight in a new form of communication three times a year since the first time I hooked up a modem.  From the bulletin boards to my first POP account to IRC to Usenet to MUDs to PowWow to ICQ to AIM to Ultima Online to YahooIM to eGroups to Slashdot to Friendster to blogs to MySpace to Facebook and now to fucking Twitter, I’ve been in this goddamned pillow fight longer than the combined US involvement in war in the entire 20th century.

And this is just how it begins.  First the pillow fight, then the laser tag, followed by the pie throwing, then on to the zombie attack, to all be followed directly by get rich quick chain letters, pleas to help save [insert cute girl name] from [insert horrible medical jargon for bubonic plague], Nigerian money swap scams, and, what I personally can’t wait for, an endless supply of ways to make my penis bigger.

For all the new methods of human communication we seem to devise on this network of networks, they all follow a predictable pattern of wildfire popularity, quirky novelty, commercial exploitation until finally reaching normal, boring, everyday usefulness.

The next wave in the cycle can’t come soon enough.

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