- 29
- Sep
- 09
Of all the places one would not expect to find this video filmed, skaters in San Francisco filmed this exchange between a young skater and SFPD Officer Schwab, 2099. Thanks to Mission Mission for the find.
The exchange is pure skater harassment, the kind anyone who has picked up a deck knows. Some kids are skating and fucking with a city fence while trying to record a video. Neighbor calls the cops, cop show up and busts up the show. It isn’t long before the officer takes a poke, which a punk is always happy to reciprocate.
Moments later, Schwab delivers this Emmy-winning performance instead of his Miranda rights:
Resist again and I’m going to break your arm like a twig. And then you can treat me like the asshole you think I am.
Undoubtedly many of you have taken that trip to the back of the squad car, where the officer slaps the cuffs on and makes a big show about a night in the clink only to relent a few blocks away from the alpha male from the pack and turn him loose. Having possessed in my whole life maybe a quarter of the restraint of tongue the arrested skater demonstrated in the short exchange that got him apprehended, I have a special affinity for his situation. Having made that trip a time or three myself, I learned something each time.
The first time I thought the guy was giving me a break. That what I had done really did merit incarceration and that the officer was bending the rules to let me out of something that might haunt me for the rest of my life. The second time I started to get wise to the ruse. I’d seen people get arrested for real; they were read rights with plenty witnesses on hand in front of cameras. The third time I got handcuffed but escaped arrest, I recognized it for what it was: a douchebag with a hurt ego making himself feel tough in front of a bunch of kids.
The way they turn your shoulder to tear your ligament just a little, the pull on the cuffs to bruise your wrists for a wee, the way they slam the door onto your other shoulder to give you a lasting knot – it is not law enforcement. It is purile bullying.
When kids are shooting each other in the gut at public pizza joints in broad daylight, we need less Officer Schwabs. Police officers need to be serious men and women of even tempers, passionately committed to helping their communities. It is a hard and unpopular job, made all the more insufferable by dicks like me. But they chose their life, and in so choosing agree to suffer our ire as we agree to suffer their abuse.
Only now, these criminals called skateboarders can share their everyday with the rest of the world. And people are learning just how ridiculous these public servants can be.







