“Do you have problem with the emos in your country?” she asked, gravely concerned.

The first night that I wasn’t comatose in St. Petersburg I caught with one of my colleagues Dima for some sushi. Our first time meeting, it was with great relief that I discovered he was a geek of the first rank with shoulder length stringy hair in the tradition of the finest dungeonmasters. As we made small talk on the way to the restaurant I had discovered that the Piter native was a strong photographer and into The Cure, much like another photographer I know. Dima also is a student of philosophy leaving us much to discuss. With his work largely in the postmodern thought and mine existential, we didn’t share many of the same favorite authors, but made for a welcome discussion.

With his help on the menu, we found the requisite California and Philadelphia rolls. No matter where in the world one goes, we asserted, these two rolls are on every Japanese food menu. The conversation between us frequently contained nervous laughter as we both tried to find common vocabulary with which to speak. Soon we were joined by his girlfriend and between the three of us we found a good rhythm to keep up a conversation. With his knowledge of English coming from The Cure and hers from jazz standards, we had a good basis from which to build.

As we were rolling down to listen to her sing, she intimated about The Emo Problem.

“Do they also cry in your country?” she inquired.

Sadly, I had to respond yes. For all of Western culture, I apologized for the blight we had inflicted on our neighbors across the world. I also related the origin of EMO (which used to mean Ex Members Of hardcore punk band) and its subversion by the hands of commercial evil. She went at length to describe the problem, with their emo kids crying over everything, running around on longboard skateboards with pierced lips hopped up on Chicken McNuggets.

“Oh, the emos love the McDonalds. They are always there. Always crying.”

As we passed some graffiti written in English, someone clearly had expressed a grammatically erroneous statement that is as true in St. Petersburg as it is in San Francisco vis a vis the Emo Problem.

“Get you fuck out!!”

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