- 02
- Jul
- 08
In the latest battle in (d)N0t’s ongoing war against the hippies, we done went and started a flame war last night. It started as a mildly disapproving comment because some new age hippie chick ganked one of Daniel Austin’s photo. Of course since this is the Internet, the hippie chick responded with an incomprehensible retort of medium length. Five gin and tonics later I posted a carefully crafted response, which escalated matters from mild disagreement to Hippie DEFCON 1.
By morning, the enemy had cleared her guns into our broadside. “Finally!” I exclaimed. After a year of (d)N0t, we were at last at war with another blog. As before, her argument was difficult to divine but seemed to contain an unsubtle suggestion of romance:
hate to say it, but this does feed the popular notion that the T-P’d are a bit light in the brain.
Again, in this second sample of his writing too, he seems unable to stop himself from peppering his speech with scatology.
Also, he’s obviously never heard of the common term “testosterone poisoning,” suggesting others in his life have tried to shield him from his disease.
(Life Lesson #1,234: the testosterone-poisoned can look fetching. #1,235: Don’t ever bite into a cookie just because it looks good. Check the filling first.)
Convening a council of war, Daniel and I conferred on the appropriate course of action:
(09:07:10 PM) Rob: How much do you think it would be to get an actual bag of dicks to send to the hippie woman?
(09:59:07 PM) Daniel: uh…. real dicks? like animal dicks?
(09:59:17 PM) Daniel: that’s pretty sick, so i’m assuming no.
(09:59:21 PM) Rob: Nah, like rubber dicks.
(09:59:28 PM) Daniel: i suppose if you buy them in bulk….
(09:59:32 PM) Daniel: less than otherwise.
(09:59:32 PM) Rob: How much do rubber dicks run for?
(09:59:35 PM) Daniel: no clue.
(09:59:46 PM) Rob: Is there a Sam’s Club for rubber dicks?
(09:59:51 PM) Daniel: probably
(10:00:03 PM) Rob: How many dicks do you think constitute a bag?
(10:00:09 PM) Daniel: 7 or 8
(10:00:16 PM) Rob: That doesn’t seem like much.
(10:00:25 PM) Daniel: well, i’m not talking about little dicks.
(10:00:40 PM) Daniel: i guess with little dicks it’d be like 10-12
(10:00:45 PM) Daniel: or with an assortment, maybe 10.
(10:01:19 PM) Rob: How many flowers are in a bouquet?
(10:01:34 PM) Rob: Is that an analogous grouping?
(10:02:40 PM) Daniel: i don’t think so
(10:02:58 PM) Daniel: there can be any number of flowers in a bouquet
(10:04:15 PM) Rob: The problem is going to be buying them.
(10:04:30 PM) Rob: Because you know the lady behind the counter is going to be like…
(10:04:31 PM) Rob: “Hey. What are you doing with all these dicks?”
(10:06:13 PM) Daniel: i really don’t think she’d say that
(10:06:25 PM) Daniel: if she did, she’d say that every time somebody went in there and bought anything
(10:06:33 PM) Daniel: and if she does, a big smile is going to be a great answer.
Several from our staff and readership have leapt to our aid in this battle, demonstrating that this war we wage against the hippies is with an army numerous and strong.
Maturity and the conduct of a gentleman demands that we end this gracefully. That we take the higher road and be the bigger person.
Of course, this means we’ll continue shredding this woman and her crazy hippie harem until the Cease and Desist letters come in.
Don’t worry. We already bought a scanner to post them.





