Folks have been writing in questioning our resolve. “Have you forgotten so soon?” they shout. Crying allegations of betrayal, they wonder if we have abandoned our campaign against the hippies. Where the latest front of this conflict erupted – the spot where we, the pure, visited this war on their doorsteps – all seems silent. They look upon the fascist wasteland where Jeri Studebaker’s blog once stood and ask if we are finished.

“Have we finished?” we reply. “Have we even begun?”

Two weeks have passed since we caught the hippie New Age “author” Jeri Studebaker stealing Daniel’s photos. Over a brief three day blitzkrieg, the global (d)N0t crew descended upon her dainty bullshit blog and sowed the kind of rhetorical scorched earth policy that still burns the packets that pass it by. Producing a singular, twisted victory, Studebaker resorted to fascist censorship in an effort to cover up her intellectual dishonesty.

Folks from our camp have visited her blog in the days since, only to have everything but affirming posts from her deluded followers deleted. The fine supporters of our cause have written in asking if we were satisfied with this win. Was turning this unsuspecting thief into all she claims to hate subversive enough to satisfy justice?

Enough is never enough for the truly gonzo. Worry not flame fans, for we have merely tendered our targeting towards vicious.

1) Future

As we’ve warned numerous times, it appears that Studebaker is spewing a work of unquestionable illegitimacy this fall. Already posted on Amazon, the book is on pre-order until its publication until September.

Conveniently, Amazon has a forum available for every item in its inventory. This forum is intended to facilitate the exchange of pertinent information between consumers so they may make an informed purchase decision. This forum, most importantly, cannot be censored.

We’ve already started a thread about her intellectual dishonesty, which will remain with the book for as long as it is sold. Everyone trying to buy her pooprag pulp self-help hippie hooplah will get to read what we have to say about it.

By all means, help yourselves.

When will this crazy hippie woman learn?

2) Present

Having had her fill apparently of Flickr after our careful readers alerted staff and photographers of her thievery, it seems our darling Jeri found another website to steal from. StockXpert.com is a great service for small budget publications as they provide micro-pay or subscription pricing for a load of quality stock photos royalty free.

Here’s where the enemy commits the tragic error. Evidently, radical goddesses believe “royalty free” means “take whatever the fuck you want.” Obviously, this is not so. The photos are not free at all, just available for a very small fee with a perpetual use license. The photos on her site would only cost a dollar, yet the watermark on the photos betrays her theft.

Let us refer to StockXpert’s terms of use:

Stockxpert grants You a limited license to download low resolution watermarked images to test if they suit your purposes, but You are not allowed to use them in any final material. You must download and replace these images with their non-watermarked high resolution version in the final work.

Clearly oblivious to the conditions of the website, Studebaker even goes so far as to thank the gracious photographer she’s stealing from, saying “thnx to windowseat for making this foto open for all to use and see.”

I’m sure Windowseat really appreciates you ganking the photo without paying for it, jackhole. Though we’ve already taken the liberty of notifying stockxpert.com of the infringement, extra voices can’t hurt. Hook it up here.

3) Past

Among the wreckage of our first skirmish is our adversary’s good name. Depending on the time of day, we are between the sixth and eighth result on Google for the search “Jeri Studebaker.” 55 people have come to the site through that route, reading three posts and sticking around on average for 7 minutes. Each person that finds us by looking for her is a glorious victory.

But why stop there? In a recent post on her site, Studebaker lay claim to the invention of a new word while preparing the index for her crappy book.

A few minutes ago, while I was writing the index for Switching to Goddess, this entry just popped out of my pen:

“Dark Ages: Goddesslessness as a cause of”

Never heard nor seen the word “Goddesslessness” before, but it feels useful to me.

Way to go Rear Admiral Cornhole. In addition to making up excuses, lies, and logical fallacies, her enterprising ways have tried to give birth to new language.

Well, we here at (d)N0t are pretty good with the wordsmithing, so after a little research and congress with the other writers, we’ve decided to make up a new word ourselves. This new word is:

Douchethirsty

The definition:

douche-thirst-y [DOOSH-hûrst]

1. The desire to drink a theraputic fluid commonly used to irrigate vaginas.
2. A condition caused by repeatedly speaking bullshit remedied by douching one’s own mouth.
3. Jeri Studebaker

The soon to be rewritten history of Jeri Studebaker

There are currently zero entries in Google for this word. Our plan is to link douchethirsty to Studebaker’s website (http://www.jeristudebaker.com) in as many locations on the internet as possible so that her name is synonymous with our new wonderful word. Forums, blogs, comments, signatures, Facebook profiles are all fantastic places to put this link, letting Google rewrite the history of our language for us, forever linking our enemy to our creation.

—

You really thought we were done with this? Shit people, this kind of bastardy is not something you can ever turn off.

» You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.