• Rob Spectre
  • 01
  • Jul
  • 08
This entry is part 1 of 7 in the series Male Gods Are Dangerous

The constant scourge for the online photographer is the omnipresent threat of ganking, and sadly (d)N0t photographer Daniel Austin is not immune. While the Danimator remains ridiculously liberal in the reproduction of his work, fools continue to abuse his charity with unattributed and inappropriate usage of his work.

Usually, its just a case of some uncreative jackhole posting Daniel’s brilliant HDR work in order to 1) get chicks and 2) appear to be something other than an uncreative jackhole. But, ever so often, we get an act of thievery so spectacular it is worth passing along.

The blog is called “Radical Goddess Thealogy” with an intentional misspelling that sent my brain into an immediate tailspin. Evidently the blog from a new age hippie author promoting some new age hippie bullshit, this past Sunday’s feature was an incomprehensible vignette on maleness featuring a suspiciously familiar photograph: a portrait of Canonical founder Mark Shuttleworth and me.

An excerpt from the article:

I suspect being born with too much testosterone … is like being born with any other disease: it creams you (not to mention your neighborhood).

Think rape, incest, assault and battery, Big Money, the military-industrial complex, Anne Coulter (“I’m more of a man than any liberal”).

Depending on the skankiness of your case, you should be hospitalized from birth until you’re cured.

Maybe it’s the testosterone, but I’ve read through this article five times now and I still can’t figure out what the fuck this chick is saying.

Does anyone have any clue why the hell my picture is on this batshit woman’s blog?

  • Rob Spectre
  • 02
  • Jul
  • 08
This entry is part 3 of 7 in the series Male Gods Are Dangerous

In the latest battle in (d)N0t’s ongoing war against the hippies, we done went and started a flame war last night. It started as a mildly disapproving comment because some new age hippie chick ganked one of Daniel Austin’s photo. Of course since this is the Internet, the hippie chick responded with an incomprehensible retort of medium length. Five gin and tonics later I posted a carefully crafted response, which escalated matters from mild disagreement to Hippie DEFCON 1.

By morning, the enemy had cleared her guns into our broadside. “Finally!” I exclaimed. After a year of (d)N0t, we were at last at war with another blog. As before, her argument was difficult to divine but seemed to contain an unsubtle suggestion of romance:

hate to say it, but this does feed the popular notion that the T-P’d are a bit light in the brain.

Again, in this second sample of his writing too, he seems unable to stop himself from peppering his speech with scatology.

Also, he’s obviously never heard of the common term “testosterone poisoning,” suggesting others in his life have tried to shield him from his disease.

(Life Lesson #1,234: the testosterone-poisoned can look fetching. #1,235: Don’t ever bite into a cookie just because it looks good. Check the filling first.)

Convening a council of war, Daniel and I conferred on the appropriate course of action:

(09:07:10 PM) Rob: How much do you think it would be to get an actual bag of dicks to send to the hippie woman?
(09:59:07 PM) Daniel: uh…. real dicks? like animal dicks?
(09:59:17 PM) Daniel: that’s pretty sick, so i’m assuming no.
(09:59:21 PM) Rob: Nah, like rubber dicks.
(09:59:28 PM) Daniel: i suppose if you buy them in bulk….
(09:59:32 PM) Daniel: less than otherwise.
(09:59:32 PM) Rob: How much do rubber dicks run for?
(09:59:35 PM) Daniel: no clue.
(09:59:46 PM) Rob: Is there a Sam’s Club for rubber dicks?
(09:59:51 PM) Daniel: probably
(10:00:03 PM) Rob: How many dicks do you think constitute a bag?
(10:00:09 PM) Daniel: 7 or 8
(10:00:16 PM) Rob: That doesn’t seem like much.
(10:00:25 PM) Daniel: well, i’m not talking about little dicks.
(10:00:40 PM) Daniel: i guess with little dicks it’d be like 10-12
(10:00:45 PM) Daniel: or with an assortment, maybe 10.
(10:01:19 PM) Rob: How many flowers are in a bouquet?
(10:01:34 PM) Rob: Is that an analogous grouping?
(10:02:40 PM) Daniel: i don’t think so
(10:02:58 PM) Daniel: there can be any number of flowers in a bouquet
(10:04:15 PM) Rob: The problem is going to be buying them.
(10:04:30 PM) Rob: Because you know the lady behind the counter is going to be like…
(10:04:31 PM) Rob: “Hey. What are you doing with all these dicks?”
(10:06:13 PM) Daniel: i really don’t think she’d say that
(10:06:25 PM) Daniel: if she did, she’d say that every time somebody went in there and bought anything
(10:06:33 PM) Daniel: and if she does, a big smile is going to be a great answer.

Several from our staff and readership have leapt to our aid in this battle, demonstrating that this war we wage against the hippies is with an army numerous and strong.

Maturity and the conduct of a gentleman demands that we end this gracefully. That we take the higher road and be the bigger person.

Of course, this means we’ll continue shredding this woman and her crazy hippie harem until the Cease and Desist letters come in.

Don’t worry. We already bought a scanner to post them.

  • Rob Spectre
  • 03
  • Jul
  • 08
This entry is part 5 of 7 in the series Male Gods Are Dangerous

Thanks to our staff and readership, our little flame war with Radical Goddess Thealogy burned through its third day with the heat of a thousand suns. Turning what has become the routine theft of our esteemed (d)N0t photographer’s work into a world class online spectacle by the blog’s author Jeri Studebaker has already reduced me to tears from laughing on three separate occasions. T-Dub and Daniel took turns flogging the dead horse with a mean hickory stick today while the fear and uncertainty from my earlier gin-soaken shellings began to root in her and her readership’s little hippie brains. I still can’t stop laughing about what has been written so far.

Having utterly decimated each meager attempt at responding to our collective disdain for this hippie new age bullshit artist, we are at the predictable point where the defeated attempt desperately try to save some face on their own turf. As the flame war reaches an impasse, the way these things usually go involves the losing party conceding, ignoring or employing censorship upon the victorious.

With a comments sidebar that was completely full of the (d)N0t crew, Studebaker chose the nuclear option. Like an injured Chinese government official, this Radical Goddess systematically deleted all the comments we posted.

Having caught the censorship in the middle of the act, astute reader Sadek posted his outrage mere seconds after Studebaker pressed the big red button.

I recall there being some comments from rob, also known as wtf. They seem to have vanished, almost as if the author of this blog was ashamed of his excellent articulation of how this is complete and utter bullshit. Go team testosterone!

<3
Sadek

Shortly thereafter, we successfully interrupted the regular stream of bullshit that this blog produces as its author posted a new “policy announcment.”

I delete posts containing profanity, scatalogical language, or failures to respect the human body or any function thereof.

I delete posts by people who fail to show respect for me or commenters here.

If I delete one of your posts, I probably won’t even read your subsequent posts before crashing into that little trash can under your name.

I am starting a list now of people who will be deleted (I have a bad memory, and I want to remember these people):

o wtf? aka rob
o t-dub
o sadek

To our staff’s knowledge, this is the first censorship of our work. Congratulations folks. We just turned a hippie into a fascist.

I couldn’t have scripted a victory sweeter than this one.

  • Daniel Austin
  • 03
  • Jul
  • 08
This entry is part 7 of 7 in the series Male Gods Are Dangerous

The battle is unfolding quickly today, but like the waves of the ocean our attacks are receding as quickly as Studebaker can click on little trash-can icons in 4 threads. The latest thread touts studies of testosterone poisining and claims to have found proof of this condition in a study of 501 adult male sex offenders. Well I’ll be damned.

Studebaker seems to be losing her style a little as she has forgotten to bold her words as she normally does, demonstrated here, and is under the illusion that we don’t understand that testosterone poisoning can affect both men and women because we simply haven’t mentioned it. Could this be because we’re men? Could this be because she hasn’t posted any pictures of testosteron poisoned women? Your guess is as good as ours since we find it hard to follow her logic, or lack thereof.

Ben joined in the fight for all that is good by calling out her non-scientific handling:

slightly-less-random said…
You’ve implied that testosterone poisoning can be identified over the Internet or from a photograph. This is truly absurd and diminishes the science community you purport to be a part of.

What’s next, identification of personality defects through forensic analysis of taxation forms? Elimination of terrorist threats based on name and facial characteristics? Perhaps the use of shoe size to determine those who mights have tendencies towards violence and proactive jailing of said identified? Where shall you take this?

I was also added to the list of banned posters on Jeri’s goddess blog in a last stand style posting that was sure to seal my fate there, as seen in this partial quote:

My real motive is indeed to share my photos, but it is not to illustrate the new-age emasculating rants of a hypersensitive nearly senior citizen. My photos spread warmth and beauty, your blog spreads cowardice and fear of man. I don’t want my photos on your blog any more than you want your photo on the wall of a sadomasochist sex shop, it’s just not something I stand behind.

and…

So as lucky as you think I should be, I’d rather cut a meager 200 views a week along with all the dramatic bullshit that comes along with it and stay clear of sites like this. Go ahead and add me to your delete list, I’ll be off making headlines on digg.com, slashdot.com, wired.com, and Dream Not of Today

With the relentless deletion of our comments, is it a matter of short time before the war is over, or will new warriors be joining our side? It could go either way as Margaret the Novice, the photographer whose work is currently being stolen, has not yet spoken up to Jeri Studebaker about the plagiarism of her work. She has posted her opinion in her own Flickr stream though:

Thanks WarzauWynn but how do I stop her?
I am not at all happy about this misuse and without authority.
Hope we can stop this practice.

I hope so too, but it’s a never ending battle that results in a temporary age of righteousness before the next tyrant rises to slay the just.

  • Rob Spectre
  • 03
  • Jul
  • 08
This entry is part 9 of 7 in the series Male Gods Are Dangerous

In describing her upcoming book, Jeri Studebaker lays out the primary thesis of the book and the blog that (d)N0t successfully waged a rhetorical campaign against this week as such:

This weblog is dedicated to THE GODDESS and to SAVING THE PLANET — by gently replacing God the Father with God the Mother by the year 2035. Too simplistic? Nope, I don’t think so. Male gods are dangerous, to men as well as women.

Are male gods dangerous? Fuck yes we are.

As we were toasting each other for a job well done, the Danimator and I realized we had not had a proper celebration for this year’s successes on Dream Not Of Today. To rectify that situation, the (d)N0t crew is descending upon San Francisco’s den of hippies for some Haight Asbury bedlam.

We’re toasting our headlines, writers, and defeated hippies tonight for some pre-Independence celebrating and everyone is invited. The crawl starts at Hobson’s Choice at 9pm and will probably end in the county jail.

Victory is ours! Fight the Future!

btw. This hippie is feeling a little lonely. Send her some love at her MySpace profile.
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